Return of "The Package From Hell"

Well, it finally arrived on the 18TH of October. It traveled more than 4000 miles on the great trek, amassing more than two times the mileage on my bike before it arrived. As you can see from the picture below, it looks it as well. Since when did UPS sort packages with a baseball bat? Needless to say there were things missing from the package. No horn or muffler bracket. I am surprised it actually made it with the crash bar intact.







So, now the story continues.

Since there were parts missing I called Upstairs Downstairs, my closest dealer. I talked to Jason again who said he would take care of it. I must say he has gone above and beyond the call of duty to make this fiasco work out. If anyone from U/D reads this, thank him again for me. And if it is the owner of U/D who reads this, give this guy a raise, he makes you look real good!



So, with it pouring down rain for day number 3, I still have yet to install the bar, nor investigate what the rattle in the top end of the motor is. Oh well, I did want a bike I could work on.



I did see something last night as we were leaving Ohio University last night, there in the motorcycle parking lot looked to be a 500ES. I’ll have to go check it out. Woo Hoo another Enfield in Athens. With the guy I talked to recently who just bought a 350; that will make 3! Just a few more and we will have enough to make the Beemer riders jealous. We have a lot of people who drive “Classic” BMW’s here, somewhere in the area of like 10 to 15. Now that may not seem like much, but when the towns population is like 30 thousand when school is in session, it is a pretty good ratio.

The "Package-From-Hell" update

Like all stories that make you cringe, this one

starts out the same...



Guess what?



Apparently the UPS Operator who read me back the

address and zip code TWICE somehow got the zip code

 wrong on the label that was attached to the

"package-from-hell". From Minnesota it went to

Petoskey, Michigan. Wow, that is the closest it has

 gotten so far. Of course, this has now delayed the

delivery yet another 4 days.



Oh joy, oh rapture...



When can I become justified in climbing into the local

 clock tower and shooting all the little brown trucks?

 Not the drivers, just the trucks.



I'll use a paintball gun, I promise.

Awww, FUCKSTICKS!!!!!

Okay, two posts in one day.Why this title, as stolen from my friend, The Fish? Simple, I just spent 20 minutes freaking out on blogger trying to figure out why all my archives vanished and my latest post (The one before this one) seemed to disappear...

Answer, I was reloading the /wrong/ page. It was a comment page I was reloading.

So far this week:

New cellphone screws the pooch.

Parts for bike enroute to Timbuktu.

Laced 100 scales wrong on new armor, had to redo them.

Back hurts and mood is complete crap, still.

Stabbed self in finger with scredriver, nasty puncture wound.

And it is only tuesday....awww Fucksticks!

I posted this today to my Royal Enfield group

Sit back and let me tell you a little tale about parts for

my bike.



Now, those who know me can tell you I am, to an extent, a

patient man, sometimes to a fault. But, even I have a limit,

especially when I get involved in what could best be termed

a comedy of errors. The very sad part of this is that it is

not at all funny.



Let us use the wayback machine and go back to late August,

around the 25 or so. I had been out riding and had stopped for

a cup of coffee at my favorite haunt. As usual, my bike (2k4

ES Military) was a people magnet. After the usual spate of

questions and answers, one old Triumph rider says to me “Hey,

did you know you have a busted muffler bracket and your

butterfly bar is broken?” I blinked in surprise and then

kneeled down to check it out. Sure enough, cracked in 2 places,

right on the welds. The muffler bracket seemed to bust due to

vibration. “No biggie..” I thought, I have a warranty.



Fast forward a few days and I zap an email off to Dan at DRS.

In his usual style we have all grown to respect he was right on

top of things, referring me to Classic to get it replaced. What

a great guy! When it passes from Dan to others is where the

true fiasco begins.



I call Classic and talk to Terry (Or is it Terri, I don’t know)

who says she needs a dealer to fill out the warranty paperwork

online. Should be no problem. Call Upstairs/Downstairs, since they are my closest dealer. So, I call U/D and talk to a person there in the parts department that takes all my info, ect. Says he will get right on it and I should have my parts in a few days, being that MN is not that far from where I am in Ohio, generally speaking.



Fast forward now 2 weeks time, still no parts or word. I call back U/D and talk to Jason. He says the person I talked to before no longer works there and that there is nothing about a parts order for me. Sigh, okay, let us try this again. Name, address, fast drive with him on the cell with me to get the bikes serial number. A small muttered prayer and we hang up.



Fast forward again, to the third week in September. No parts. I

call again and Jason, to his credit, works hard on finding out

what happened. Apparently, Classic shipped them, but they

disappeared into the ether known as UPS. Okay, here we go again. Name, address, serial number, I am beginning to feel like a prisoner of war at this point. Jason gets Classic to ship again. Should be delivered to me by October 4.



Now move into October. The fourth comes and goes, no parts. I call on the sixth back to U/D and talk to Jason. Okay, something fishy is going on here. He calls Classic, and then calls me back. My parts are held up by UPS, as they need an address correction to be able to deliver them. UPS says they are going to send me a postcard so I can send them the corrected address. Um, correct me if I am wrong, but if they can send me a post card, why can’t they deliver my parts?



So, 2 more phone calls later, I get the UPS tracking number and call UPS. While waiting on hold I decide to track my parts and find they are in Butte, MT. How the heck do you get BUTTE MONTANA out of ATHENS OHIO???? But above all, I am still calm, no really. They say the address will be corrected and they parts will arrive on the 12 day of October. I call back Jason and let him know. He is a shocked and amazed as I am. He suggests calling Terry (Or Terri) at Classic and getting the address corrected. So I do and sure enough, they have it listed as Butte, MT. They have the right street and house number, wrong city, state and zip. We get that corrected. I am totally amazed at this point as to how Classic shipped to the wrong address, when in February, they shipped to me my accessories package with out a single problem, in 2 days, to

the right address in Ohio.



So here we are, 12 October and being someone who likes to hedge his bets, I decide this morning to track the package, in a vain hope that it will say “Out for Delivery”. Well, so much for that great idea. The package apparently went back to Minneapolis, MN. Classic is in Fairbault, MN. According to UPS, it got left on the dock in Minneapolis. Now they say 14 October for a delivery. By the time I get these parts, they will have more miles on them than my bike!



Okay, so now I have to admit I am p*ssed. Not the good English type of multi pint induced p*ssed either. It has now become more of a grumpy old junkyard hound been swatted by a cat in the nose while sleeping, hair standing up, teeth bared kind of psychotic rage.



The worst part of that is, whom can I be mad at? Jason? Nope, he has done everything he could to try and make they system work and then some. Classic? I don’t know, but they seem to be trying to get this to work. They went with the info they had, wherever it came from, so they did what appeared to be right, UPS? Nope, they just followed the labels on the box. Although I can be kind of mad for them leaving my box on the dock. There is nothing worse than being angry and having no one but the universe itself to blame.



So next time your upset it has taken 2 weeks to get your parts, I would direct your attention to an old phrase:

“There, but for the grace of god, go I”

I got this scroll in the mail today....

Or how about this?????



Dear Sir,



SEEEKING FOR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE (TRANSFER OF 20.5MILLION GP).



It is my pleasure to request your assistance on this business proposition, which if pursued to its conclusion, will be of great benefit to both of us. This request may seem strange but I will crave your indulgence and pray that you view it seriously. My name is Mr. Samson Amu of Greyhawk .I was one of the close aides to the late Prince of Greyhawk, LAURENT KABILA of blessed memory, may his soul rest in peace.



Due to the military crisis and instability in my country, I was instructed by him (late Prince KABILA) to come to the Lordship Of The Isles with the sum of 20.5 MILLION GP (Twenty Million, Five Hundred Thousand Gold Pieces) for safe keeping and to search for a foreign Affiliate/Partner who will be able to help us invest this capital in any profitable business venture. This money is presently deposited in a private security finance company in the Lordship Of The Isles.



I need a reliable and Trustworthy foreign partner like you who can assist me to move this money as the beneficiary. My inability to move the money out of the Lordship Of The Isles all this while lies on my lack of trust on our supposed Goods friends whom have suddenly became hostile to those of us who have worked with Prince Kabila, since his son Joseph Kabila took over Office.



Though we have not seen nor met each other, but I would want this transaction to be properly handled with modesty and honesty to a huge success within two weeks, this money in question is state fund as it is a DEAL between you and I, Hence the need for secrecy considering the security implications. Thus, if you can assist me to move this fund out of the Lordship Of The Isles, you will be entitled to 30% of the amount, while the remaining 70% will be for me. Please contact me through a Mage as stated above for further discussion.



Please also note that you will be required to assist me in any profitable area of investments in your country.



I shall be sincerely glad if my request is rendered, for am really counting on you for your help.



Kindest Regards,

Mr. Samson Amu.



Yea, it came from my twisted little brain. If ya use it, just credit it to me :)

Dare I say the word...Mothman!

Yes, I said Mothman. He is a favorite conversational piece amongst our friends. Today though I thought I would add a little something new to the mix. What if there is no Mothman, but instead, MothMEN. Many more than one, perhaps. Seems odd but let me continue.



We all know very well about Point Pleasant WV and the Mothman stories. Odd movie as well. But other than the occasional pan in something like the Weekly World News, we hear little about him. Still, we know from some account he is the harbinger of doom. Sometimes they just make an appearance beforehand, others a flat out warning. Now consider the following: http://english.pravda.ru/fun/2002/05/23/29200.html Yes, I know it is Pravda, but over time I have learned there seems to be a little truth in every lie. And boy does Pravda know about lying!

Okay, hopefully you can see my point. There are reports of similar phenomenon in Russia and the adjoining states. What other Mothmen are out there? What other names are they known by? What is their agenda? I do have to wonder if H.P.Lovecraft saw something of this ilk that inspired him to write all the stories about the Elder Gods. Perhaps they were not just figments of an excellent imagination. Who knows? "Not I" said Briar Rabbit. Still oddness like this does seem to catch my attention now and then. I am not sure why but there it is nonetheless.



Okay, well on to other things I think.

Till next time,

Be mindful and awake



PS Christina:

I am not mad at you, but if you feel guilty you could always send me some nice sweet butter cookies from Denmark :)



PSS Everyone: Look! I added comments to the blog! Feel free to comment away :)

Stupid Headlines

Okay, CNN is supposed to be the worlds news authority. If you are going to claim a title like that you should not post the following headlines :

Two dead as explosions hit Turkey hotels

Um, er. Does anyone else see the problems with this? Turkey hotels? Is that something you could find in Georgia about 80 miles from the nearest interstate right next to Bubos Tire, Lube, and Hound Dog Castrating Emporium? I think it would have been better to rearrange the words to something more like Two dead as explosions hit hotels in Turkey. Wait, that sounds just as bad. Who would build a hotel in a Turkey? Not much room and the lighting would be horrid. Oh well, could have been worse I guess: Two Turkeys dead, hit by hotel explosions. I just dont think there is any good way to say it. How about Two Turks dead in Hotel explosion. No, makes it sound like the art district blew up. Where am I going with all this? Simple, they just as easily could have said Shit Happens. That would cover about every news story I could think of.

Consider a newsreader sitting in front of the camera:

Good Evening, Im Flake Plastihair and this is the evening news. Today Shit Happened. Thank you for watching, have a pleasant evening.

At that rate, imagine how much people would be interested in reading or researching things on his or her own. The latest episode of Friends would no longer be the talk at the office. Personally, I have nothing against the actors in Friends. I dont even know them, but their show sucks. Yea, Im one of like 5 people on the planet who doesnt like the canned puerile recycled stuff they try to pass off as entertainment. A good bit of the problems we face are, as I see it, from the Use your indoor voice crowd. I would never have done or said some of the things I see kids doing today. As for kids I am referring to the 17 and under crowd. If you are old enough to go die for your country, youre an adult. Have a beer, grab a porno and enjoy life. 21 does not instill some mystical wisdom as the calendar changes over. I know people in the 50s who have less of a clue than some I know in the 20s. One example is when recently I got a phone call at work from a University admin, who I will not name. Seems this person could not get their printer to work. After the usual questions and answers we started to get to the root of the problem. The simple solution was power the printer off then back on. Problem is they did not know where the power button was nor could they find it. This started to panic them. Seems no one ever told them about the concept of unplugging it and plugging it back in. I mean the average printer has between 2 and 4 buttons, one of which is the power button. Geesh, R.T.F.D. people.

On the subject of technical support, I have a few words. I am part owner of a computer company. This is how I pay my bills. For some reason people seem to forget this. I get phone calls at home all hours of the day and night for people needing help who are not business clients. Now, do not get me wrong, I do like helping people, but there is a limit. I go to the grocery store and I get stopped by people who know what I do and asked questions about how to fix their computer. Judi and I go out to dinner and people come up and ask me questions while we are eating. Ive even had people follow me into the mens room before for advice. Give me a break people! With my friends I am a little more forgiving, Ill help them for free, but if I do not hang with you in a social setting you have no extra privilege as to getting my help. Many times I help and they are happy to not need my help for months at a time. Great, fantastic, good on you for trying to learn, but when you are a serial abuser you get to be a pain in the ass real bad. Why are you a pain? Simple, youre cheap. You want my help and undivided attention? Show me the cash. If not, well then understand if I am less than overflowing with free information. I have the feeling they will be a few people who read this and wonder whats the big deal? Try it for a while from my point of view and you will understand the big deal. There will be some who will read this and immediately get all uptight wondering if I am talking about them. Good, I hope you do stress for a moment. Then think about it, you all that read this know me. If I had a problem with your asking me for help I would in no uncertain terms let you know. Still feeling guilty? If you need to soothe your conscience, you all know I like surprise presents.

There, sorry. I just had to vent for a little while. Please forgive the outburst. Anyway, this will do for an update for now.

Till next time,

Be mindful and awake.