This morning during my early and somewhat bleary-eyed wanderings about the net I began somehow thinking about Spam. Why Spam? Well, let us use the wayback machine here at MooseBase Alpha and I'll tell you.
See when we say Spam many people think about unwanted emails. While this has become an accepted term nowadays, used as easily as most any other techno-pirated term, I do feel to an extent it does a disservice to the real Spam. Many years ago I was given a can of spam by a friend (Barb over at Http:\\www.tigersandstrawberries.com) as a gag birthday gift. Well, this little can of Spam has now traveled many thousands of miles with me as almost a form of ritual token. Yes, it has flown and driven mass distances. Sometimes it rides on the dashboard drawing strange looks from passers by and other times it snuggles in a glove box or bag; it's aura flowing freely about the passenger cabin. Yes, the Spam has a light side as well.
Few people think about Spam as the glorious product that it really is. Did you know that there is a Spam Museum? How about the SpamMobile? Yes, there are 3 of them. Also there is a Spam fan club. In some parts of the world Spam is considered a delicacy and something served only to the most favored of guests. Amazing, but true, that Spam has received a presidential recognition for the role it has played in the winning of World War Two. Yes, that is right, Spam helped to defeat the Axis in Europe. Many a Nazi (Notice I said Nazi, not Naaazzy.) felt the sting of Spam produced here in the United States. Did the Hormel Corporation rest on its laurels? No! Spam has seen combat in Korea, Viet Nam, Grenada, Panama, The Persian Gulf and almost every theater of hostile action in the world. Many a time had the humble Spam repelled the great Red Menace during the Cold War years. Ever seen Ivan eat Spam? No! Because it was filled with the secret ingredient that gives Spam all it's power, freedom. No, it is not that jelly stuff that clings to the outside, I have no real clue what that is. But anyway, did you ever wonder why cans of Spam function just like a hand grenade? Have you ever seen the radius of destruction one single can of Spam can create? Nuclear Weapons are all fine and good but if you really want to scare the begeesus out of an enemy, consider dropping the big one: The Spam Bomb. We have it and we should not be afraid to use it.
(A small disclaimer: Spam is a registered trademark of the Hormel Corporation and is used here for comedic parody purposes only. All rights are reserved by their respective owners. Please do not send the weasel lawyers after me.)
(Another small disclaimer: I mean no offence to the noble weasel or its related creatures. Please do not send your weasel lawyers after me, as they are more frightening than the spam lawyers.)
