Happy Cinco De Mayo! Celebrate Mayonnaise!
With the distinct lack of comments, updates have been slow coming.
Does anyone really read this anymore?
I would hope with over 12,500 hits someone would be, yet it seems like no one ever does. Oh well, I'll just talk to myself. Not like an accusation of insanity would ever stop me.
So here is my latest set of things:
Solving the federal deficit in one easy swoop:
Tax Vitalis. You know that nasty smelling hair stuff all the guys in power use in their hair cause their fathers did in the 50s? Tax it and as the base consumption of it drops that should free up more oil reserves. How do you know the plan is working? Watch for more men with the /Executive Hair/ to start having bad hair days. Too much snow on the roof, his brain is in danger!
Conversations with my motorcycle.
Yes, my bike and I seem to have these odd little conversations. No the bike does not actually talk back in English to me, but it does make its feelings well known. Let me give you an example. All the bike comments will be enclosed so bear with me.
Wow, bright sunny day. Let's go for a ride! (I don't wanna)
Oh come on it will be fun! (No I don't wanna)
Now, you have gas and your battery is charged. You should at least start. (Alright, but your not gonna like it…*vroom,sputter,die* See?)
Oh come on! (I just wanna stay here.)
No, we are going for a ride. I have tools and I am not afraid to use them. (I need oil...My valves are out of adjustment)
Okay you need oil, fair enough. Your valves are not out of adjustment, we did that last time and they don't go out of wack in less than 3 miles. (Fine, I’ll start, but I wanna smoke)
Alright you big sissy, smoke for a while, but it is not any good for you. (My brakes hurt)
Dammit no the don’t! I rebuilt them last week. (I want a drink of water)
You’re an air-cooled engine for craps sake, you don’t need water! (Fine..if your going to be that way about it.)
*vroom (cloud of smoke, choke the kids across the street) thump thump thump*
(There I’m at idle now...Happy?)
Nope, we are going to go for a little ride.
(Oh bloody hell! Lay off on the oatmeal pies will you, mate? You’ve got more ass on me than a mule team!)
Watch it bub, I’ll make you into a moped. Besides how did you get the English accent? Your made in India!
(Oh, um..cause I am from the Raj. Yea, that’s it!)
Oh just go into gear dammit…..
Only an Enfield rider can appreciate this fully.
Till next time,
Be mindful and awake
(And perhaps leave a comment?)
