Of Acronyms Politics and hats

I like acronyms. I know they are not exactly PC, but that's OK. While AFK last night, knowing I would BRB I had a brilliant idea, IMOHO. You see if the VP of the US were to become a MD or even a DO could he still keep it on the QT? Consider, why wont they let the VP who is like a CO go to Iraq? He's not our CEO by any means. I mean we own the LZ. Its not like we were fighting the VC, but I can see some of the problems involved. Want if he went MIA? Or worse yet, least for him got KIA? I mean what BS could the CIA dream up if he were a POW? Now, I may be a JAFO, but DIRLLIGAF? This gets me PO'd and is FUBAR as is our normal GOV SOP. ABC might be a SOL answer, but the NSA is a POD for CRAP. Of course that is just my POV. T/Y. :)

While talking on the phone the other night with Tom (see his blog like under Brother Thomas, and buy his books!) We were considering the other more complex problems of mankind and I may have been able to come up with an answer.

Hats.

It seems that conflict on most any scale is not so much about a difference in ideologies but a difference in hats. Take a look at most any conflict and there you will find the one thing that ties it to all conflict. It seems that in prehistory we did not by nature wear hats or were not as concerned with them. Then as time went on we began to develop more hats and the level of conflicts rose. When most everyone wore the same hat, conflict seemed to be quite limited. A village raid here, a little cattle raid there, but no major actions. I mean what is a cow between neighbors in the grand scheme. We can even now apply this to our own settings. Consider the Middle East. In Lebanon the more popular of hats in the kaftan, in Israel the Yammica. In history we can see this lesson as well. The Germans were big into hats. So were the Japanese with everything from format dress hats for the emperor to hats made from a leaf and lacquered. In the US at that time, it was the fedora. Before that it was the military hat and the cowboy hat. The Native Americans had feathers and fur. The array of hats in the Napoleonic wars was just staggering as well as their designs bordering on not only the fanciful but also the impractical. I think a lot of the conflict lies in the belief we put in hats. This hat is bigger than your hat so he must be in charge. That hat has more brass bangles that this one so he must know what he is doing and you're an idiot because you hat is not as shiny. He must be cosmically clued in because God gave him his hat. Yea right.

I somehow think that if the Great Universal Power were to hand down the design of a hat to someone it would not look like they have a hunk of fruit on their heads. Consider this: If your god(ess-ett-oidal) and your personal messenger and spokesperson on the planet of the monkey people needs a hat, are you going to make him or her look like the Sidney Opera House? If you were supposed to be the bringer of the word of the one almighty true non-believer smiting god, would not a hat that was a little more hat-like and less "Sorry but my hair is still wet" look a little more convincing? And don't think it is limited to "mainstream" religions. Just because you're wearing a set of antlers on your head does not mean your privy to the secrets of the universe. It means you look like a punchline from a bad joke. And the multi-phase moon circlet, please! Girl go find something better to wear on your head, like a rubber chicken. In most circles it will get you about the same amount of respect and a lot more laughs. Politics can be viewed from the hat perspective as well. While he may not be a real favorite in some quarters you do not see Tony Blair in a stupid hat do you? No, not even the ubiquitous British Bowler Derby. Stout fellow that Blair, out in the Sun and all that. Now let us look at Osama Bin Laudin. Um, dude, that look is so very 15th century. Get a suit and trim that goat looking soup catcher. You look like an LA beach bum who needs hosed down. I'm all down with you feeling you need to cover your head so you don't offend god, but get a new hat, please? I'll even spring for it if you will chill out. If your going to do the new hat, might as well update the look. And Mr. President, the frat party is over, you can take off the dunce cap now, we are all too well aware of what it is trying to tell us. And just as an aside to give the brain-pain a little boost, why do Tibetian monks and the royals from Hawaii wear the same hats yet are seperated by thousands of miles with not common hat design ancestor?

Now if you do not know me you might think I am anti-hat. This could not be further from the truth. I have an extensive collection of hats here. Daily I wear a simple and non-offensive hat in plain black. No sports logos, no team names, no schools and no NASCAR numbers, just a simple black hat.

God gave it to me.

Till next time,
Be mindful and awake.

PS: I can even recommend two places for hats depending on your needs. For most hats I recommend http://www.mikethehatter.com or http://www.heathershijabs.com for our friends from the Middle East. I know the owner and she wears a hat too.