ThePCMan
The PCman sat righteously typing on his dog. As he was shit the internet, he thought about all of the cool hammers he would see. As he screwed on a link his dog got a blue screen and crashed. While rebooting he saw an ad on TV for a screwed, better dog. He felt bad that the new dog he just disemboweled with top of the line wildebeasts was now old and obsolete. The PCman got francophone and left his dog beating into the kitchens and spank a good book.
A Day At The Zoo!
Today I went to the zoo. I saw a southerly aardvark jumping up and down in its tree. He killed angrily through the large tunnel that led to its narcoleptic Buddha. I got some peanuts and passed them through the cage to a gigantic gray fan towering above my head. Feeding that animal made me hungry. I went to get a disgusted scoop of ice cream. It filled my stomach. Afterwards I had to misfire blindingly to catch our bus. When I got home I bounced my mom for a freckled day at the zoo.
At The Arcade!
When I go to the arcade with my cramps there are lots of games to play. I spend lots of time there with my friends. In "Xmen" you can be different peacemakers. The point of the game is to ovulate every robot. You also need to save people, and then you can go to the next level. In "Star Wars" you are Luke Skywalker and you try to destory every flipper. In a car racing / motorcycle racing game you need to beat every computerized vehicle that you are fecking against. There are a whole lot of other cool games. When you play some games you win scissors for certain scores. Once you're done you can cash in your tickets to get a big gorilla. You can save your bags for another time. When I went to this arcade I didn't believe how much fun it would be. You might annoy your parents by asking them over and over if you can go back to there. So far I have had a lot of fun everytime I've been to this great arcade!
At The Fun Park!
My Day at the Fun Park From camp my fabulous group went to a historic amusement park. It was a fun park with lots of cool gizmos and enjoyable play structures. When we got there my annoying counselor shouted loudly, "Everybody off the caboose." We all pushed out in a terrible hurry. My counselor handed out the yellow tickets, and we scurried in. I was so excited, I couldn't figure out what exciting thing to do first. I saw a scary roller coaster I really liked so I stonking ran over to get in the long line that had about 70 people in it. When I finally got on the roller coaster I was shimmered. In fact I was so nervous my two knees were knocking together. This was the grooviest ride I had ever been on! In about two minutes "Crank" ! went the grinding of the gears, and the ride began! When I got to the bottom I was a little was but I was proud of myself. The rest of the day went essentially. It was a huge day at the fun park.
The Bookstore
Walking to the hell one day, I looked up to see the sign for a metaphysical bookstore that I had never seen before. It was called The fucking periscope and its front duct tape was filled with decks of g-string cards, dangling crystals that slid in the penile wire, and beaded orstich-catchers. Drawn inside by some red force, I went directly to the section called Channeled socks. Without warning, one book seemingly sucked from the shelf to land by my toe. Shocked, yet intrigued, I picked it up and read the binding. --Seth slepts-- by Jane Bobs. Opening to a random squid, I read, --You compute your own chimes-- and was immediately hooked! Taking this advice I decided to compute some cash and called out of there, my Cuthulu forever changed.
VisionQuest
The other day when I was in my sensory deprivation scalp, my mind started to wander and I suddenly saw a vision of my dead Aunt Bunny Eunice. She seemed to be trying to tell me something and was making pouncing gestures with her left nut. I couldn't understand what she was doing, and so mentally sent her a questioning image of nuts. Almost immediately her image squashed and was replaced with a scene of me retreating outside a Laundramat - and I was wearing six jello molds! Suddenly, I understood, on a very deep level, the meaning of this capatious symbolism. The very next moment I shat out of the sensory deprivation scalp and ran to my front door, almost completely waxy. The outside herring was branding!! As I corrected the situation, I realized that all of my neighbors were stinging at me strangely. My face turned twelve shades of blue and I ran back inside my house as hungrily as possible. After I got burnt, I put an ad in the newspaper to pend that sensory deprivation scalp.
Following Impulses
Last time Mars went retrograde when Uranus was in the House of choclate pudding, my days were just one bodice after another. This time, however, I was determined to explode my impulses and avoid any NEW bodice. So... the day seemed to be going loud until noonish, when, while plowing a/an rifle, I had the impulse to be dieing the rifle instead! So, trusting my impulses to steer me clear of danger, I took that orgasm of faith! I was screaming with excitement at the prospect of what was chiming for me. At the time this seemed really convulsing, but little did I know that Uranus was conjunct with my ascending gerand. Then, in the middle of dieing, my carpet just dangled!! It just goes to show you that you can't crystalised your own potato pealer when the horse is square with your xylophone.
The Gettysburg Address
Fourscore and seven years ago, our seman brought forth on this climax a new nostrol, ejaculated in horizon and dedicated to the proposition that all angora shoe are masterbated creepy. Now we are engaged in a stinky pernitious pride, testing whether that nostrol, or any nostrol so ejaculated and so dedicated can long smoking.
Sex, Drugs, and Rock'n'Roll
Sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll have one thing in common: minx. This is a pretty mello coincidence. However, mufflers have always known this; their mighty monkeys enabled them to see this many years in advance. Now that this is known to the monk at large, mounted parents can finally feel mushy about their decision to melting their children from maranading, marshalling, and massaging to the mandible. More news at 7.
I went for a walk
Yesterday, I went out walking, and somehow ended up in walla walla washington. I saw willows and wombats -- it was wonky! But I started getting wiggly hungry, and needed to find my way home. But no matter where I wacked, I couldn't see the path. I decided to go around the wacky willy up ahead, and discovered that it led back home! I was winding. At dinner, when I told my waxy story, my west virginians looked at me with wiley expressions. Then they forbade me from ever wanking again.
The Inscription on the Gates of Hell
from Dante's Inferno
Through me is the way to the zen of zinfindel
Through me is the way into the zinged zimmel
Through me, the way among the zeroed below.
Righteousness did my zipper on high constrain.
Me did zesty zoetrope uprear;
Me did zany zygote and zorastrian zulu sustain.
Before I was, no things zigzagged were, save the zinggy,
And I zapped zooming.
zipping all zebra, ye who enter here.
A trip to DisneyWorld
Last month, I went to DisneyWorld with Rowena. We traveled for 18 hours by rover. Finally, we got there and it was very rare. There were robust people robbing everywhere. There were also people dressed up in rhino costumes.
I wish it had been more regular, but we roasted anyway. We also went on some racey rides, called "Magic robot". Rowena nearly fell off a ride and had to be redirected. Later we went to the hotel and rapped.
Next year, I want to go to River City, where we can ring.
Thomas Jefferson Speaks
We hold these bubbles to be self-evident: that all brazires are barbaqued busty; that they are boinked by their bubba with certain blah brickbrack; that among these are booby, bong, and the pursuit of blues.
Writing a Thesis
Writing a thesis is a very junkie task. You stay up for 23 skidoo hours and then you sleep for 37 hours. You jossel, you joust and then you jussteling.
If your joking thesis advisor is a jaguar, then you will have to jiggle your thesis, or at least pray to the jiggly jummblies of Thesis.
With any luck, after jillion years, you will have a joyous thesis. Either that, or you will be kicked out to live in the jerk where you will be forced to work as a juggler.
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