I got up this morning, much like any other morning, fuzzy headed in hair and mind. Made the morning stumble to the coffee maker and drew off my first cup and headed into the living room to go through my morning mail. Usual stuff, 100 messages and only 2 worth reading. Afterwards I did my normal search of my comics to get a good mood rolling and then switched over to read CNN. I find the world is a little easier to deal with after a chuckle or two. It also lets the caffeine seep into my brain a little more. I stared at the top of the page, right hand column as usual but started reading from the bottom of the column to the top, which is unusual. I finally read the very first entry and was hit with it like a ton of bricks: Author Hunter S. Thompson commits suicide.
It struck me hard. I guess a side effect of reading a lot of Dr Gonzo makes you feel like in a way you know him personally. He, in my own opinion, never had the proverbial fourth wall between his writing and his readers. You could take his words and add his voice without a second thought, much in a way I like to think I write. His work got me to stop worrying about “accepted styles” and more about writing what I thought I needed to say. I hate to say this but I feel slightly numb over the whole thing. It is a lot like waking up from anesthetic and realizing your short a body part you were not aware of before. You may have consciously known it was there because you were told it was, but the feeling of its absence is more real that the actual presence it had. Maybe he had more of an affect on my writing than I thought, but I can only now realize it more consciously since he is no longer “here” any more.
But then again, I could be totally off. I think I’ll end this one by swiping a line or 3 from Dr Gonzo himself, commenting on Nixon’s death: “but I don’t believe that and wont, not until I gnaw on his skull with my very own teeth. The nineties weren’t the sixties but they were wild and I personally had signed on for the whole trip.” The nineties are gone and behind us. Perhaps he ascribed to the cyclical nature of time and saw us headed again into a fifties style McCarthyism. Then again, maybe he has finally been accepted into the great club of the immortals and is now kicked back on a white sand beach in a recliner, drinking a drink from some ceramic Buddha with little umbrellas shooting at passing gulls with Elvis as Jim Hendrix plays soft tunes in the background, waiting for Amelia Airheart to call them in for their fresh peanut butter and fried banana sandwiches with side orders of dodo bird. Or perhaps, it just finally got too weird for him. No matter what, it can be said he wrote the ending to his own life and did not let it be written for him.
Where ever you are Dr.Gonzo, enjoy and thank you.
Till next time,
Be mindful and awake.
It always hits us hard when someone we consider to be a mentor or role-model passes on. It's harder still when that person does it by his own hand instead of letting the progression of time take its toll. either way, it marks the end of an era in a very vital way.
ReplyDeleteDr. Gonzo, thank you for sharing your trip through Life with us. You have made more of an impact than you know.