Holiday drift

Holiday drift

Happy Turducken Day.
If your confused about the well wishes, just wait. It gets worse.

I was reading in my friend Barbara's Blog "Tigers and Strawberries" (Look over to the right, she has one of the honored and available for the right bribe coveted perm-a-links)about food magazines. She referred to a group of people known as "Foodies". Sometimes they come off like Fundies, but at least they will feed you much better than a fundie. Still I digress yet again. The subject was food magazines and how "Foodies" have favorites and ones they revile as crap. So, I started to consider, with my love of food and cooking; dare I ask the question "Am I a Foodie?"

I considered the question carefully. I am not a rabid follower of any cooking school or dogma. I create and I eat. I learn from others and not so much from books. I enjoy leading in the kitchen as well as following. I subscribe to no cooking magazines. I may look at a cover when I walk by, usually in the same way one looks at an accident as you drive by, even if you really do not want to. I do not find garnish to be a necessity. Yet in many senses of the word I would say I am a foodie (notice the change in capitalization?) but not a Foodie. I consider myself more like the wandering cook, wok strapped across his back with a sign that says "WILL COOK FOR RECIPIES".I prefer trying to get to the heart of a dish, not seeing what I can make with special expensive equipment. Good wok, good knife, good food. I find this more of a path inline with my nature as I seem to have problems with organized anything. Usually involves too many people saying and not enough doings. There must be doings!

Today is Thanksgiving, the incredible mutant holiday.
What you say? Someone sent us up the cranberries?

Look, at one time to have anything but turkey on thanksgiving was basically a stoning offence and do not mean Jay and Silent Bob style either. Woo Hoo, suff dat messed up steroid shootin chicken with da cronic! Catch a buz and feed the munchies at the same time, BONG!

So anyway, then the thanksgiving goose crept in slowly and was accepted. Then the venerable cured ham, provided it was wearing a pineapple hat. I think Dole is behind this one, I remember one year they suggested putting pineapple in a turkey. It didn't catch on so they went for the pig; you know all ethnic Hawaiian and stuff. Okay so now we have turkey, goose, and then ham. Not too odd, but again they were not done. Some cracker came up with the idea of cooking the turkey in a peanut oil fryer. Next year, they shove a can of beer into the poor birds nether regions and cook it. Okay, people with way too much time on their hands. Then it comes, unleashed upon America and then the world: The Turducken.

See it works something like this: take a boneless turkey, a boneless duck and a boneless chicken. Then stuff the chicken into the duck and then the two of them into the turkey. Tur-Duck-En, get it?
So here is where I begin to have problems. First of all what type of sick wierdo says "Hey, lets stuff a chicken up a ducks ass! Yea! And then we can stuff that up the ass of a turkey! Groovy!" Food should never seem to be the result of a bizare tractor trailer accident. Be thankful there was not an ostrich anywhere around when this got started. I am also excited at the exclusion of a hamster from this list.

See, this is a prime example why to not do drugs. I have yet to see anyone take a boneless goat, stuff it into a boneless pig and shove that up the backside of a boneless cow. I think there would be some serious repercussions from not only the pork lobby but remember that the majority of the beef ranchers are well armed. The reason I think there has not been a larger public outcry over this is no one knows where all these boneless animals are raised nor who is responsible for engineering
them in the first place. I mean who come out and says, "Yes, I am a boneless chicken rancher. No, we don't use horses to wrangle them, we use a Zamboni. It is much simpler..."

Till next time,
Be mindful and awake.