Yea, Halloween in Athens. Big fucking deal.
Pricks from around the nation descend on this already overcrowded little town and proceed to screw everything up and dump all their trash for us to clean up. On top of this some Goddammedpigfuckingsonofbitchingworthlesspeiceoftrash, stole the cover off of my motorcycle. They stole a fricking rain cover. Ohhh, big cool factor there. Bet for an encore you swipe stacks of your local free newspaper, hu? Well guess what! If I EVER find my cover in Athens on someones bike, I hope my friends will pool their change and bail me out of jail for what I will do to that person. I’ll not go into graphic detail here, lets just quote a movie shall we? Pain…Lots of Pain.
Now, at first I was not that mad. Okay, no biggie. Well, I just had to drop 80 bucks on a replacement and ya know it just kinda got to me after a while. Lets see now, that makes one wind chime, one broken mirror, one dented car door, and now a motorcycle cover. Yea, I got an idea for next Halloween. I am going to go as a psychotic killer lurking in the bushes on Mound Street, say around number 50. Armed of course.
And if by some weirdness of the cosmos, whomever stole it does read my blog I have this for you:
You are a thief and a coward,
A poltroon of the worst order,
I curse you and the nearest 5 generations of your family,
I curse your parents; because it is their fault you are the way you are
I curse your siblings for letting be such an idiot in public,
I curse your grandparents for not teaching your parents to bring you up with at least the social responsibility the gods gave a slug,
I curse your children to treat you as you have treated others,
And I curse your grandchildren so they may revisit all your evils upon you a second time, since the will be so far removed from your control.
But, even with this I offer you a blessing:
May your life be long and your offspring be many.
This way, my revenge will last.
If you did take it, I would really advise you to return it for your own sake. No questions asked, just leave it on the porch. Then, having made an effort to correct your error, I would revoke all I have wished upon you with the exception of the blessing.
If in doubt, just remember one thing:
The gods like me, else I would have never lasted this long.
Can you say the same thing?
Hi Bry,
ReplyDeleteOther than the missing rain cover pissing you off, I hope you, Judy and the bike are all ok?
I am very much looking forward to seeing the two of you in December:-)
Take care,
Christina (who's slowly losing her mind over here)
Bry, if you track the guy down, I'm sorry. I won't be able to bail you out, brother-mine.
ReplyDeleteI'd be sitting beside you for holding the guy down for you.
Sorry about the bike cover, man! Is the bike OK though?
Now there's the mark of a true friend.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever get out of apartments and into a house (there's wishful thinking for you), you'll have to remind me to set up a high-voltage fence around my yard, just special for Halloween. I'm talking the Jurassic Park grade, make the drunks sizzle kind of fencing. Then again... you can imagine what'd happen if the rabid blonde forgot to pay attention to the fence when she went out to get the mail next morning...
~Karyl
I'm always good for bailing people out.
ReplyDeleteOf all the kinda dumbshit thing to steal, too. That is weird!
I like the curse, though!
Hugs,
Barbara
Hey Bryian,
ReplyDeleteThought I'd leave you my email addy..Took me long enough. Been busy and stuff, you know.
Here it is though: christina@mail2pope.com
Have a nice practice tonight at fencing. Wish I could be there. I miss fencing.
Talk to you later,
Christina